Know your cod and plaice. Published in The Guardian.
If there are three things guaranteed to induce white noise between your ears, it’s anything to do with the EU, fishing quotas and maps of the…

Twenty winks. It’s never big or clever to cut back on sleep. Published in The Guardian
The last time the world cried as one, at the last American elections, I remember George Bush saying he wasn’t getting much sleep. This despite the…
When breast is worst. Published in The Guardian
For 17 years I had been the owner of a fine pair of breasts that were, in Starbucks talk, grande. So when I became pregnant and…
Plenty more fish in the sea? Published in The Guardian.
Knowledge can be such a burden. Knowing about fish – I’m a fisherman – is great. I can tell the difference between a sea trout and…
It’s dress down every day in Britain. Published in The Observer.
We should never have got rid of starch. That’s what done us in. The moment we stopped starching collars and let them flap all over the…

The most dangerous trousers in the world. Published in The Guardian.
When it came, I always knew Mother Fashion’s revenge would be cruel. That she would spawn something so seductive that all attempts at style and beauty…

Bananas about pyjamas. Published in The Independent.
AGED 18, the very first thing I bought from my very first pay packet was a pair of Derek Rose red flannel pyjamas. At pounds 25,…